I am a self-help junkie. For those who know me, this is not a revelation or new knowledge[C1] [ML2] . Personal improvement is high on my list of priorities. Why? Because I need all the help I can get. Trust me.
I was playing golf the other day with a friend and telling him about the latest book I was listening to. He said, “Don’t you get tired of listening to that motivational mumbo jumbo?” “I mean, you already know that stuff, right?” “Why are you wasting your time?”
I was stunned.
I couldn’t even process what he was saying. I’m thinking, doesn’t everyone read and listen to self-improvement stuff? What’s next? I suppose you’re going to tell me that people only go to bookstores for coffee. My goodness. If I’d known this ahead of time, I would have just skipped golf. I wanted to push him out of the cart. Weirdo.
What I shared with my friend that day is what I believe in my heart about personal growth and self-improvement.
It’s necessary!
Life is hard enough – if we’re going to think about something, we might as well decide on what it is. The most important thing to remember about self-help is that no one can do it for you.
It’s called SELF-help for a reason.
His questions…
“Don’t you get tired of listening to that motivational mumbo jumbo?”
“I mean, you already know that stuff, right?”
“Why are you wasting your time?”
My answer was quite simply – no. The greatest danger in life is to convince ourselves that we’ve somehow arrived – that we’ve made it to the top of the mountain where rarified air (or lack of oxygen) convinces us that it’s okay to kick back and mail it in.
I heard retired NFL player Bo Eason recount the story of meeting Jerry Rice for the first time. Bo had been traded to the San Francisco 49ers where at the time the iconic star wide receiver was in his hay day. It was training camp and Bo, being a defensive back was watching the receivers run drills. Now keep in mind, that this was the beginning of training camp. The receivers would take turns running routes and catching passes. Most of them were running at half speed and with much less intensity than they would in a game situation.
That is, everyone except Jerry Rice.
Jerry ran every route full speed and with absolute precision. After catching a pass, he would turn and sprint down the sideline and into the end zone. Bo introduced himself to Jerry and asked why he practiced that way. I mean c’mon, the best receiver to ever play the game doesn’t need to practice like that…does he? Jerry explained to his new teammate that the reason he practiced that way was because he wanted to associate his movements with a result – a feeling. He wanted to associate catching the ball with scoring a touchdown. He wanted his mind and his body to associate touching the football with scoring points. What a brilliant concept. Jerry was not about to simply go through the motions. He wasn’t about to let up on himself. He knew that the key to success was to keep pushing – to keep growing – to demand more of himself than anyone else could ever expect. As a result, in 2010 Jerry Rice was inducted into the NFL Hall of Fame.
Nice catch, Jerry Rice.
What does this mean to us? It’s about incremental improvement. It’s about a commitment to personal and professional growth even after we “know all that stuff.” Because the truth is, we really do know that stuff. But knowing isn’t enough. It’s what we consistently apply that gives us power! It’s practicing what we know with intensity and precision. It’s about mastering the fundamentals so we can execute with excellence when the game is on the line (and it’s always on the line).
I have a friend who is a very successful entrepreneur. Whenever I see him, I can count on one thing. He will recommend a book or a podcast that he has recently read or listened to. I asked him one time why he continues to spend so much time and energy on learning. He said, “it’s an investment that pays a consistently high return. Because the only way to help others is to continually increase your own capacity. You cannot give what you do not have.”
I think of those words every time I am tempted to be lazy and complacent. When I don’t want to read, when I’ve listened to the same podcast episode for the umpteenth time, when I want to sit on the couch and watch Seinfeld reruns (not that there’s anything wrong with that) I think of his words.
“Because the only way to help others is to continually increase your own capacity. You cannot give what you do not have.”
Every day there is a constant and never-ending battle for the space between our ears. Not to mention the endless chatter that goes on around us and within us. I love what the great Les Brown said, “every day is a fight for territory in your mind.”
The bottom line is that life is difficult. It is happening at warp speed, and it just keeps moving faster. There’s negativity hammering us from all sides. We need a little something to help us cope – to keep us on track and ready for the road ahead. This self-help junkie makes no apologies for being hooked on the good stuff. I admit it. I can’t get through the day without it. I’ve tried to kick the habit, but it’s too powerful – I always go back.
Today you can work on yourself and expand your capacity or be content with what life gives you.
It’s always your choice.
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Kevin D. Brown is a branding and culture expert. He’s an award-winning motivational speaker, bestselling author, and the creator of The Hero Effect®. Follow him on LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.