“Connection is why we're here. We are hardwired to connect with others, it's what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it, there is suffering.”
- Brené Brown
I am a professional speaker.
I love my time on stage with amazing clients.
There is nothing more gratifying than an audience who loves you back with energy, laughter, and a willingness to stand at the end and cheer for the message and performance.
Except for a sitting ovation.
A what?
A sitting ovation.
Early in my speaking career, I was addicted to the standing ovation.
It seemed to be the measure by which you rated your stagecraft against other speakers and performers.
I craved them.
I would beat myself up when it didn’t happen.
Until I discovered something.
The reviews and feedback from those who didn’t stand at the end were just as glowing as those who did.
Sometimes even more so.
Interesting.
I realized I had been misreading the tone and expressions of some audiences.
So, I started paying attention.
And that’s when I discovered the sitting ovation.
That moment when the devices are put down.
They lean in.
All eyes are glued to the stage.
The silence is palpable.
There it is.
The sitting ovation.
Pure gold.
A true connection has occurred.
It doesn’t matter how hard they laugh.
Or how much they cry.
It doesn’t matter if they are high energy.
Or a bit more reserved.
The sitting ovation means they are with me.
They have connected my story to their own.
It’s beautiful.
What I realized is that my need and desire for a standing ovation was about me.
Not them.
It was about my insecurities and need for validation.
The truth that I uncovered was that I cannot place my insecurities on someone else’s expression…or lack thereof.
I’ve made a decision to seek the sitting ovation.
With every audience.
Whether I am with one, or one thousand.
My pursuit is for a connection that transcends distraction.
Where they lean in and give the incredible gift of their full presence.
I will always love and appreciate the laughter, the energy, and those moments when they rise and send me off stage with great love.
That will never get old.
But the real power is connecting our story to theirs. Perhaps giving them the gift of perspective and hope and gratitude for the stories they have lived and the ones they have yet to write.
I want to encourage you this week to seek out the sitting ovation with every audience in your life.
Whether it’s one or one thousand.
At work and at home.
Make meaningful and deep connections that transcend distraction. Moments that leave you and them better than you found one another.
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Kevin D. Brown is a branding and culture expert. He’s an award-winning motivational speaker, bestselling author, and the creator of The Hero Effect®. Follow him on LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.