Be Grateful for Feedback and Criticism
“Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” —Aristotle
How do you feel about feedback and criticism?
Is it the same thing?
I don’t think so.
I think it’s important to understand the difference between feedback and criticism.
Nobody likes criticism.
It hurts.
Every time.
Its sharp barbs can cut deep into one’s self-confidence.
It burns the ego.
We want to be liked.
Accepted.
Appreciated.
Criticism is personal.
Always.
Feedback on the other hand can be quite valuable.
In fact, high performers crave feedback.
Whether it’s sports, entertainment, business, or life, the great ones want to know the score.
They want to measure their current performance against their last.
They want to get better.
Even if it hurts to face failure.
They want to know how they stack up.
So how do we distinguish between feedback and criticism?
It’s simple.
It is all about intentions.
Criticism is rooted in the insecurity of the one dishing it out.
A critic's words are intended to hurt.
It’s about envy and what’s missing in their world.
The only way they can build themselves up is to tear others down.
Feedback is about insight.
It’s meant to encourage and help you improve.
Feedback is what allows us to adjust our plans, strategies, and actions to get closer to the results we are after.
Here are three simple rules when it comes to feedback and criticism.
Criticism is None of Your Business: If the spirit of the feedback is hurtful and mean, then it falls into the criticism camp. It is none of your business. Move on.
Feedback is Meant to Help: Feedback is rooted in truth. It is meant to help you get better. Separate your emotion from the feedback. Focus on the fact that this will help you improve your performance. If we are emotional about the information being shared, then we will get defensive and maybe miss an opportunity to get better. If you can look objectively at the feedback and determine how it may help you it could be exactly what you need to reach another level.
Be Grateful for Both Criticism and Feedback: Feedback makes you better and criticism makes you tougher. It also means that people are talking about you. You are in the conversation. You’re either helping people or you are a threat to others. Either way, you are on the radar and not irrelevant.
Make feedback your friend and let criticism drive you to press on toward the prize. Feedback means you’re doing good. Criticism means you’re probably winning.
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Kevin D. Brown is a branding and culture expert. He’s an award-winning motivational speaker, bestselling author, and the creator of The Hero Effect®. Follow him on LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.